Listening to: Straylight Run - Sympathy For The Martyr
Watching: Blinking Cursor of DOOM!

Yeah, this is just one of those updates that I do every so often to keep people aware of the fact that I'm not dead yet.

I'm considering moving this blog to a Xanga account, if I do I'll make a forwarding link to it on here.

Listening to: Eric Clapton - You Look Wonderful Tonight
Watching: The Late Late Show

This entry will be pretty short, mainly because I don't have anything to say really. I woke up today with a headache, and no recollection of what I did last night. No, I wasn't out drinking. I just wasn't paying attention when I reached for what I thought was 'Excedrin Migraine', turns out it was SleepEZ or something like that. Needless to say, I fell right to sleep... and then I woke up on the floor, with a headache and no memory. I was like friggin Jason Bourne, only not as hott, haha. The headache hasn't went away, despite loading my body with asprin. I wish asprin tasted like Coffee.... but then I would be addicted to asprin, or is that even possible?

Anyway, if you have any information of what I did last night. Please contact me.

Listening to: Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Watching: Boris Karloff films

I seem to have a problem resolving the conflicts in my life (hence the name). I either run away from them, or I do what it takes to make them go away. I can't recall actually taking a problem head on in quite some time. This is troubling for a few reasons, I never actually defeat a problem, and the problem usually comes back not long after I think it's dead. I want to do better, I really do. I want to 'make something of myself', as I am constantly told to. In many ways I feel that I already have, just not by the secular world's standards. I'm not rich in material possessions, but I'm rich in other ways. I hope you know what that means.

On another note, It does look like I'll be moving in a matter of months. I find this odd, because I only unpacked the rest of my things less than two weeks ago. I don't think these new towns will ever feel like home to me.
Gah, I'm rambling again, so I will take my leave now. Farewell.

Listening to: Spoken - Falling Further
Watching: Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Shew, It's been a while, no? I don't know why it seems like I never have time to post on here anymore. It's odd, because I really have no life to speak of, so in theory, I should have an unlimited amount of time to pour out my soul into this java applet daily, so that you... the unwashed masses, may revel in tales of my glorius perfection, and heroic deeds....

Right... now that I have that out of my system, I'll tell you little kiddies what's been going on. I'm still in Bristol, which still doesn't feel like home. And it's not for lack of trying to make it feel like home either, It's just that I find it hard to feel at home, when my closest friend is over an hour away. It looks like we may be moving again was well, Oh happy day, Oh happy day... I can't wait for that. Cause there is nothing that makes settling into a new set of surroundings better, than changing them every six months.

I've got my web-comic going again, and I'm trying to survive in the indie game development scene... I think I would be a starving artist, if I didn't live with my parents. Speaking of the parental units, I have no clue how I was placed in this family. My life goals and ambitions are nothing like those of the other three members of this family. My brother is a real estate agent and appraiser, my father will be a real estate agent in a matter of weeks, and my mother would like nothing better to be a interior decorator / designer. Now we come to me, I'm a web-artist / writer / designer / musician / comedian / youth pastor.... dear lord in heaven, my life is a cosmic joke.

I recently started writing for AzraGaming. I must say, I really enjoy it, and I would do it even if I didn't get paid for it. Which is good, because I don't get paid for it. I'm hoping that it will change over the course of the next few months as the community grows and the members become more active.

I decided that since everyone I meet thnks that I'm funny, that I will go to some comedy clubs on open-mic nights. I mean, I look a great deal like John Candy, and I've studied the greats like Farley, Candy, Belushi, and that other fat comic that screamed a lot and sang 'wild thang', presently his name escapes me, but he is hilarious.

Well, I'm said my peice for today, and you all now know what I have been up to for the last little while. Take care of yourselves, cause no one else will.

Listening to: Lucero - At The Starlight
Watching: Law and Order

Holy crappin whoa, it's been a long time since I've updated.

I went back to Tazewell this past Friday. I still have mixed feelings about my decision to go back and visit people. On one hand, you have those people who come running out of the front door to hug you before you even get out of your car. On the other hand, you have people who you thought were your close friends, who don't even give a flip that you have been gone for half a year.

I'm going back again in 2 days, to check out the meeting of my old youth group. Should be interesting. I honestly don't have much to say tonight, so I won't waste your time by going off on some wild tangent. I'll just kill it here.

Listening to: 3 - Dregs
Watching: Flames flicker of the wall

I feel as though I need to expound on my previous comments about being dead. I will assure you that I am very much alive, but at the same time... very much dead.

Dead is defined as:

1. Having lost life; no longer alive.
2. Not having the capacity to produce or sustain life; barren

That's how I feel, I feel as though a part of me has lost life. And other parts do not have tha capacity to sustain life, I feel empty, cold, dead, and alone.

I find myself unable to tolerate any more random criticism, simply because my ideas do not sync up with this world's priorities. My soul is quiet, for the first time in many months... I'm calm, because I am certain that I will never live up to the standards and ideas that people have placed upon my shoulders, for me to burden, and I will no longer break my back to try to do so. I would like nothing more, at this present time, than for the world to end... abruptly and without any warning signals.

Let the legalistic 'chrsitian' twits stand before God, and let them feel the wrath, that they have so frequently poured upon me for being different. Let them shoulder the burden, let them die.... and die a thousand times over.

I'm through with this charade, I can't stand this anymore. I'm done.

Fear accompanies the possibility of death, but peace sheppards it's certainty...

I'm at peace, and I'm ready for this to be over...

Listening to: Scars of Tomorrow - Suffocating Words
Watching: The Battle of Shaker Heights

Intersting thing happened to me today.... I died.

I know what must be going through your head:
How can he leave a blog entry, if he is dead?

It's an interesting experience to be dead, but alive... I imagine this is what it is like for zombies. Only, I don't have a need to consume brain matter... which is good, because I would most likely starve in this town.

It's also odd to talk to your friends when you are dead, although most of them seem fairly happy. So I count this as a good thing.

Being dead is tiring, I must go now...

Listening to: Coheed and Cambria - A Favor House Atlantic
Watching: Nothing

I miss my friends...

Listening to: Hootie and the Blowfish - Goodbye Girl
Watching: Family Guy

I really just need to ask this, it's not language I would usually use, but it seems approriate:

"What the hell is wrong with the world?"

I've said it before, and I will most likely say it again at some point today, but I really hate this planet.

What does it say about the priorities of the human race, when joining the peace corps, is referred to as "running away from responsibility and refusing to grow up"?

WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!

I don't give a flip about money, I don't give a flip about having possessions or a huge house. I would take poverty and happiness, over riches and loathing.

The more I try to talk to my family, and explain to them how I feel... the more resolute I become in my ideas, that I will never speak to them, or darken the door of one of thier residences ever again, once I leave home.

I swear, if I hear "computer science" one more time, I will blow my brain matter all over the wall... that way I could at least imagine my parents saying:

"Well, he put his mind into it.... even though 'it' happens to be the wallpaper..."

My head hurts, I'm done.